Life has taken me through the wringer as of late. Well really let's be frank, most of the time really, and I put myself through the wringer with my own choices and thoughts. But well that's a moot point.

 There have been times in my life when He has proven to me without a doubt His realness and last Sunday was no different. I've had to miss the better part of the last 4 weeks of services, I watch them online at home later in the week, but nothing heals my heart like really being able to listen to service at church with no interruptions.  As I finally get to the pew, of all songs that was starting was God be praised, that just opened my heart and brought me to Him.  The word brought that day was title The Spirit-Filled Life:  Lived In Relationships.  It was just what I needed at this point in my life. Last Sunday's word spun me into a week of reading Ephesians. It's been an amazing and uplifting word for me! Just when you are weak, His word is strong!

Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians5:15-20

As a mother.  I see being wise as taking full advantage of every single opportunity.  I struggle with momma guilt, as does most moms that I know.  But I am giving up on dishes and floors to play a heated game of Connect 4 or practice addition or  read a book with my babies.  To curl up on the bed with them at bedtime and talk about our days.  It's ok to put T to bed so that I can shower, vacuum the floors finally, or heck even just get 10 minutes ALONE.

Not to worry if I am making the mark, or living up to some standard I feel all moms are doing except for me. For every one thing I do good I feel there are a dozen times that I fail miserably.  But I'm coming to see that this is true motherhood, it is a season in my life full of mistakes, learning, trying really hard, and failing yet again.  But this is a season that is marked with Grace, not just for myself but for others around me.
As a wife, understand God's will.
  Life is unpredictable, but God’s promises are everlasting. I revert back to Jeremiah29:11 it seems to be my daily motto on the bad day's.
I know my problem is my attitude, and it's all too easy to stumble into my old self, my old way of thinking.  It's how I handle any conflict around me, it's so much easier to go with what is easier, what I KNOW and grew up with.  But that is the old me and thus no one sees the new ME.

 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.  But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”   Ephesians 5:8-13

Reading these verses challenges me to check whether I ‘am light’ to others – do I live as a ‘child of light’?
I try – and on a good day, yes. On other days – I probably don’t as much.  I stumble, and fall, but at the end of even my worst days, weeks, and seasons He is always there to pick me up brush me off and Love me.




and in EVERYTHING giving thanks. 

          ....in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs3:6