I'm not strong enough.

I am always caught off guard when someone tells me "You're so strong"
 The truth of the matter I am not but HE is.

I am a weeping crying/lay on the couch and don't do housework or move/forget to eat/talk no to no one/stress out easily/over clean my house for no reason MESS.
So no I don't have it all together but HE does!



In the darkest moments when this journey began I questioned God, I question why why WHY!?  I screamed out for answers. What did I do, why does this have to happen!!?? My life was shattered all around me by a hidden sin that is so devastatingly destructive!  I begged God to make it all go away, I pleaded in the darkness for His light to shine through, I cried out to Him to give me the strength to face the days.

I prayed for peace.

I was seeking answers to questions that couldn't be answered.  I wanted to understand.  But He answered differently.  I could hear Him in the quiet moments, I love you my daughter, I am here, and I will never leave you.  I am here always and forever my love never gives up and so you cannot give up!

So even though I am devastated.  Our lives will never be the same.  One thing remains.  My love for God.  My need to know Him more!  My need to believe, trust, and walk in His light!

My only duty is to continue to pray, believe, trust, and wait.

He will always fight the battles for us, we just have to believe.

With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD

 our God to help us and to fight our battles. 2 Chronicles 32:8

Our God will fight for us!

Nehemiah 4:20

Do not be afraid of them; the LORD

 your God himself will fight for you

Deuteronomy 3:22